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Our path to having
a child has not been the smoothest. In
July 2007 we had our first baby, a
beautiful boy called Hamish, who came
very unexpectedly at 28 weeks. Very
sadly he died 4 days later from a bleed
in his brain.
Hamish was our third pregnancy the first
2 ending in miscarriage.
To find ourselves 32 weeks pregnant
after a very nerve racking few months
(terrifying) was quite overwhelming. All
of a sudden we had to turn our attention
to getting this baby out not trying to
keep it in. There were many raw emotions
from our experience with Hamish and the
fact that we had not actually let
ourselves believe or imagine a baby in
our arms.
I was given a paper clipping on
‘calmbirth®’ by my GP and managed to
track down an instructor – Sue Power. We
decided to undertake the classes unsure
what it would actually entail and very
anxious about the prospect of a natural
birth (the caesarean seemed much safer
and less risky in my mind)
We drove away from Sue’s on that first
night and felt at ease, she had planted
the seed that my body was made to do
this; we just have to calm my mind and
gain some confidence.
Over the weeks we gained confidence,
surprisingly there were times I left in
tears overwhelmed by the process, but
discussion with Sue allowed me to work
through the causes of my distress and I
soon realised that there was a massive
part of me that was healing from our
past experiences.
calmbirth® assisted me in getting excited
at the prospect of meeting my baby,
something I had never let myself
believe, amongst the weekly appointments
at the hospital, the grief of Hamish and
the sheer anxiety, I had never imagined
that moment of meeting this new person –
I was excited.
At 39 weeks I became very anxious and at
the last minute I made an appointment to
meet an independent midwife who I
thought could be our support, to help us
through the birth. She contacted our old
private Obstetrician, found a bed at the
private hospital and I was to be induced
the next day.
After calmbirth® I didn’t want to be
induced, I wanted by body to do what it
had to do, but the emotional and mental
struggle was too much. Calmbirth® had
also taught us to be adaptable.
The next day my waters were broken at
0730, I was 2-3 cm dilated and the
contractions started soon after. I was
calm and practiced my breathing before
things got too intense. We walked, read
the paper, talked and focused on what
was going to happen. At 1630 I was
determined that this baby had to come
today and they started the syntocinon.
It was strong and powerful and I
struggled to keep a sense of calm. I had
a tens machine which was a great
distraction and used Nitrous as the
labour advanced. For a while the
calmbirth® breathing had gone out the
window, that sense of loss of control
had set in, I could vaguely remember
something about that at 7-8cm many women
‘lose it’. I clung onto this thinking
the baby is coming we are getting there.
As I began to feel the sensation to
push, it all came back, I was able to go
to the place were I could visualize my
baby moving down, I was breathing it
down, the image of my brand new baby
getting closer to meeting us was so very
important. Despite the residual fear, I
felt the baby and I were working
together, my husband would whisper at
intervals surrender, trust your body,
let it go. At 1914 our baby girl was
born, beautiful, fat and screaming, she
came with such a feeling of
accomplishment.
On reflection I am glad we were induced,
calmbirth® helped me through an induction
with tens and nitrous only. I had at
times asked for an epidural and
pethidine, and my husband was able to
help me refocus and go back to our
peaceful place. I am thankful we took
the time to sit down and discuss what we
both wanted I didn’t want an epidural or
pethidine and together we were able to
work through those tougher moments.
In the days that followed I didn’t
expect to have to draw upon the skills I
had learnt through Sue. Breastfeeding
was a whole new adventure that need
focus and calm breathing! Cracked
nipples, blocked ducts and nipple thrush
all made the seemingly beautiful art of
breastfeeding very intense. As she
attached and the pain soared, I was able
to control my breathing and work through
the absolute intensity, my husband firm
hand on my shoulder helping.
The skills we learnt from Sue and
calmbirth® have helped us immensely and I
have a feeling they will continue to
help in the next weeks, months and
years.
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